Being horny and the whole 'I'm-20-and-still-haven't-had-my-first-kiss-thing.'

So I've been reluctant to post this but then I figured no one reads this right?

This was meant to be a sort of..replacement diary, but of course as it's not ACTUALLY private, it's been stopping me from writing certain things.

Here's the thing: I'm kinda horny right now. I get my kicks out of reading..what I guess guys call chick porn. I don't M (too embarrassed to write it but hopefully you know what I mean) and I could have sworn I had mentioned it before but apparently not, I haven't even had my first kiss yet.

Now before you start thinking I'm a FUGLY weirdo that nobody likes, which you may have already decided judging by everything you've read up til now, I'm not. I'm not a fugly weirdo, this is just me letting out the weird little things that I have to keep in my head because it's just problematic to say them out loud.

Anyway, back to the point.

Okay, I really can't make myself get back to the point at the moment because I feel like I need to defend myself about the whole 'I'm-20-and-still-haven't-had-my-first-kiss-thing.' Like I said, it's not that I can't, I'm sure if I really wanted to I could get a guy to kiss me okay. It's just that I'm waiting, and I know that sounds pathetic and I'm not some celibate freak who's determined to stay 'pure' until my wedding night or whatever either (no offense to celibate freaks and tbh I probably am gonna wait that long, just not for any religious or other weird reasons),

I got side-tracked again..

Basically I'm not a freak okay?!!!

Okay. Now that we've got that settled. So yeh I'm horny. Sue me. And I get my kicks reading online chick porn. Why am I rambling on about this now then? I'm out of things to read so now I'm frustrated.

Great.