Getting it out

I keep saying the same thing over and over again. Reading it makes it so much worse because it's all the more obvious how repetitive it is. The reason I keep saying it over and OVER is because I haven't been able to talk to anyone about it. I'm not bitching when I say "my sister will just tell me not to think about it and concentrate," or when I say "my friends. I just can't tell them. Although enough of it has already burst out of me in front of them." This is not me bitching about these people. They have all cared for me exceptionally, and I try, I do. I try and do my best by them too, in my own way trying to repay them.

But that's not what this is about. This is about me thinking the same morbid thoughts non-stop in my head. The same thing on repeat. Always on repeat. And this is me desperately trying to get it out in the only way left that I can think of.