I feel like we need a massive update but it is extremely late and I need to get up in the morning! However the last post I wrote on here is irritating me and I simply feel I canNOT leave this place with THAT as the final note. Of course I'm not saying I'm abandoning this place it's just that..well I can't leave that as the last post. It irritates me every time I see it.
God I'm exhausted. I saw Rich last month, I think. And I'm still phenomenally glad that I did but..........it wasn't that great. I mean it was almost pleasant but it just wasn't..I was disappointed. Basically. I had fantasised about him endlessly for a year so it's safe to say I was disappointed. Everything pretty much fell flat, which is fine I mean it was still almost nice. I don't know, I just kept feeling almost uncomfortable but then again not quite..it was just an extremely confusing experience and for no fathomable or explainable reason. Which is why I reckon it was purely IMPOSSIBLE to explain it to him; my frustration, why and how I felt so deflated by the whole experience, everything.
So that happened. I want to see him again and gain closure somehow. I keep telling myself I'll let him go after that, I have no idea if I actually will but we'll see. I really don't know how I feel about him at the moment. See I'm sitting here asking myself the simple question right now. Do I still like him? I have NO IDEA! So what does that mean?! I guess it doesn't matter, maybe it means I'm getting over him, that would be bloody excellent :) :) :) We will see.
