I am currently working as a Receptionist, ondumae seyiraku illa, viser addikuru. Anaal athukaha kooda vela venum indu illa. Paravale.
Anywho. It's Christmas! So that's good. But slightly gotten over the hype. Was much more excited last week, the week before and even end of November. Whilst no one else was. Today was such stressful morning. I've still got the headache to prove it. But I don't want to moan about that.
I hate our TV. There I go moaning again. But in my defense I was just moaning because I want to watch Christmas films :D
Something happy something happy...
Okay not exactly happy BUT I'm going to do the Big Horrible Test again and hopefully everything will be awesome. Doubtful but, well let's just see shall we.
Maybe going to a show with Nancy and Kate on Saturday, hopefully go, hopefully good, hopefully meet the love of my life there - NO! No more thinking like that. On my cold horrid walk to work I decided, as I do everyday, that I must stop this obsession with boys. Every Asian guy I see, and sometimes the occasional tanned Caucasian I mistake for Asian, queue: imagination overdrive.
I've also developed, well not so much developed as much as realised, I have terrible self esteem issues. Every time I make eye contact with anyone I immediately start going into this spiral about how awful, childlike and ugly I look. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I'm completely up myself about how fabulously attractive I am. Those are the times I'm in front of the mirror.
Garghh! Just glanced at the time. Doom. DOOM! It's only quarter past three. Of course I am still in keeping with the rule of: don't-check-clock-at-work-or-chem-tuition-cos-I'll-regret-it-and-time-is-a-b****-so-slow.
Toying with the idea of ommiting inappropriate parts of blog then sending link out to Sarah, Priya and Kit. Release into public. Bit fed up of writing to no one to be perfectly honest. Hm. Would have to cut out half of entire blog r.e. sulking depression etc.
Should I make a new blog entirely? Seems a shame to delete so many posts..
Yep make new blog! Eurgh effort. I do have the time on my hands though..
What was I talking about before this? Ah yes, I am an extremely self conscious person with no self-image confidence..
Hmm even that sounds dripping with sarcasm, doesn't fit my character at all.
..who am I?
Conclusion: I need to dress more nicely, it just makes me feel better. Most mornings I look in the mirror and either a) cba or b) think I look fine but the day will draw out every piece of morning freshness seen in the mirror and replace face with oily dead looking thing.
Bought a bunch of new clothes, wear them. Buy accessories, NEW COAT, new bag. Stop being a tramp. Buy decent shoes. Bought blue ones, disaster, cannot wear with all outfits, look like retard wearing all grey then bright blue shoes. Buy decent trousers, been wearing the same work/professional trousers since school and they are huge, flappy and ridiculous. Must buy tight leather trousers or similar, flattering to body. Trousers and coat important as they are the only two items visible when outside. So no matter how wonderfully I have dressed on the inside, to the hot Asian guys at the station (whom I will no longer look at), well basically just go get fashionable awesome new stuff. Revolutionise self, become awesome.
Another passing thought that occurred whilst on commute: may have to purchase religious or similar book about how to stop lingering thoughts of romance in relation to attractive strangers seen throughout journey to work. I just can't help myself, how do I make it stop?!
